Ipanema B&B

Where were we?
I think I sang Mexico's praises to death, so moving on...
From previous posts, the Ipanema beach video and the Liza-dancing-with-muppets, I think it is clear that my next stop was *drum-roll* Rio de Janeiro.
Had an American Airlines redeye from Miami (have i mentioned the breakfast? man, that was a pretty ugly episode) and landed in Rio airport bright and early on a Wednesday morning.
When I was looking for a place to stay in Rio, I figured out pretty quickly that I wanted to go for Ipanema (too many years of Bossa Nove I guess). And seeing that all hotels seemed like huge, overpriced concrete monsters, I ended up booking the Ipanema Bed & Breakfast, which ended up being quite the cultural experience (and, at least at first, a bit of a cultural shock).
Brazilians don't really do B&B. So these guys just made their own version of it by renting out two of the bedrooms and bathrooms in their Ipanema apartment. So you had the apartment where they all lived (mum, dad and two 20-and-a-bit boys). It was in no way big, so it was pretty much me living in their space and vice verse. I assume that most people who know me (especially those I used to share a place with- old flatmates, parents, Jamie, the rest...) would have a bit of a giggle. I mean- it's no big secret that I like my space. Living with people I am close to is really stretching things, sharing with strangers is the stuff nightmares are made of.
But surprisingly it ended up being one of the best places I stayed in so far on this trip. Main reason was the sheer niceness of the family. The kids were great to hang around and chat to (well, the parents spoke no English). I even went to the footy with Felipe, which was a super cool day out (more on that later). The dad acted as if his sole mission during my stay was to mix me Capiriniahs, and after 12 days and countless Capirinhas all around Rio I can honestly say that he mixes the best ones in town. And the mom? Well, she did the rest from making sure my breakfast is ready whatever time I wake up (how she knew when to prepare it is beyond me. Must be clairvoyant!) to washing my clothes. And ironing them. All of them - undies included. God I love these guys.
Location too couldn't have been better. Walking to the beach would take less than a minute. And I am not talking some dodgy, muddy beach here. I am talking Ipanema Posto 9. Ipanema is a pretty glamorous beach (I think I posted pics below), and there are pretty clear lines of demarcation that designate who goes where. So the gays go to Posto 8.5, and the families are around 8. Around 10 is where most tourists are (and the local golddiggers). Posto 9 is where the really really good looking crowd goes. And in a city where physical looks is the be all and end all, that says a lot. I don't know how many of the boobs, calves, pecs, bums etc were real and how many were silicon, but who cares. Ipanema beach was the bomb!

Been Slack. Again.

Again gone a few days with no blog updates. Not to worry - still alive and well, just not in a sit-and-type mindset. Took it as my weekend challenge to bring the blog up to date, so fingers crossed...

do CHE mi fa sol la ti

I used to think it was only the samba and the bossa nova, but no.
The hills of Rio are well and truly alive with the Sound of Music.
Went to see the local, pretty full-on production, and kinda liked it. Obviously I didn't get much of the dialogue, but that's a small price to pay to see a Brazilian Maria. She was very good, very very very pretty (not uncommon in Brazil) and had a fab body too- definitely not a schinzel-with-noodles girl. The suntan though was a bit too dark for someone who spent most of her life in the convents of the Alps.

The Hottest Spot Period. North or South of Havana.

Love Capacabana. It's the most awesome beach in the most tragically touristy neighborhood (think Gold Coast, then multiply by a million). Was humming the Barry song all day under the Brazilian sun and decided it's worth a blog post. And then I found this. Ummmm, a slightly less conventional version on good old YouTube.

The Boy from Ipanema

For those of you who lost track I have been the boy from Ipanema for the last week or so. Well maybe not the boy. Maybe just a boy. but still. I don't think I have seen enough of Rio to comment, but I love where I am staying - and the beach is just the best! This is what it's like on a quite winter day.

Been pretty lazy with taking my own videos, but found this on YouTube and together with the music I say it is pretty close to what I would be going for...

Food in Mexico

Before heading to Mexico I had, like I said before, pretty high expectations.
I expected the weather to be nice and warm (it was), the beach to be beautiful (it was), our hotel to be fancy in an understated way (it was), the people to be nice and the food to be yumm and the booze to be cheap (tick, tick, tick)
I did factor in some minor incidents though. I mean nothing in 2,000 years of Jewish diaspora prepares your tummy for Mexican food. I was expecting the first 24 hours to be a bit stressful for the system, and once you get used to the idea and prepare yourself, it's not that bad.
But none of that ever happened.
An entire week of Mexican food in Mexican places, cooked using Mexican ingredients and Mexican spices by Mexican cooks, and still no complaints registered by the tummy.
How good is that! Maybe I am not Jewish after all!

Then I had two bites (I swear, only two) into my American Airlines breakfast on the flight into Rio, and by the time bite #2 was halfway down i knew I was going to regret it. And I did. So there you go - life's little ironies. And another reason not to fly American (will get back to that at some point).

Americans in Mexico

Not sure why but Steve and I were comparing stories about weird Americans one morning over breakfast (always a fun way to start your day). Then on the way back, those two American girls sort of tried to get us to come over.
OK. For the sake of factuality and accuracy, I should mention that they were not really girls as such. I think the last time they were referred to as girls was sometime in the 40's. Maybe the 50's for the less haggered one. But we just had breakfast, it was nice and warm and sunny, we were in a good mood (not hard under the circumstances) and we thought there's nothing wrong by having a friendly chat to a couple of American senior citizens.
And they were actually really nice! Maybe not the sharpest razors in the pack (they asked Steve where he learned his English. *cough*) but still nice. We talked about Mexico, and Baja where they lived, and how nice the weather is and how lovely the people are and all that sort of fluffy touristy stuff.
And then they got the pamphlets out of their bag.
Well apparently unlike us (we were in Mexico just to relax, get a tan and maybe drink, remember?) they were in Mexico on a mission from Jesus. Or God. Maybe both. According to them Jesus is sick and tired of this whole mess and how everybody is fighting and he wants to make some changes. Some serious changes. This whole thing where you need passports to move from country to country - Jesus doesn't like that at all. He will be coming back any day now and if we only do as we're told - we should be well and truly in his good books. And hey- paperless travel is pretty cool! We didn't stay there long enough to actually learn what you need to do to get into the good books (I suspect it involved giving all your money to their leader all our money and the right to deflower your daughters), said we really had go (something about leaving the tap running) and headed off. Only to see them catch some other unsuspecting Mexican.

PS. Before I forget... They would also like to remind y'all that sex before marriage is very very very wrong and will make your special bits fall off and stuff. Unless of course you have it with their leader, in which case it will get you in the good books and get you some really nifty Christmas pressies.

My Thoughts Around Mexico

To be honest, Mexico wasn't even part of the plan.
But the, I was having a chat to Jason one day and he mentions Playa del Carmen and how I absolutely have too go there if I am ever in the area (which I was going to be). Obviously, since Jason is Jason, this was only one topic in a torrent of about four hundred that were brought up in convo. I made a mental post-it note and placed it somewhere and didn't really do much about it.
Then, randomly, Steve mentioned that he plans to go to Playa, which reminded me of that chat with Jason. Those were the days when I kept changing my travel plans on an hourly basis (and in the process being a major pain to the poor travel agent) so I figured - why not.
I actually had very high expectations. But Playa surpassed them by a mile and then some... It was exactly what the doctor would be ordering after two weeks in NY.
Where do I start?
How about I start by talking about the place where we were staying. It was about 30 meters from the beach (and the beach was spectacular). It was really big (and given how messy Steve and I are - a small space would be inadequate). It had a big lounge in front of a big tv to veg on, it had a bedroom that would be super dark, no matter what time of day or night it was (I don't think I ever got up before 10:30, so that was pretty useful). It had the best a/c known to man, a fully equipped kitchen, and a balcony that was only a step and a half from the pool. Plus it had a rooftop pool, with pool bar and views stretching all the way to ummm Morocco I guess.
So the place was great- It was also brand spanking new and almost empty so we had the pool (pools I mean) pretty much to ourselves most of the day.
Then there was the weather. It did start raining pretty nastily as i was heading towards the airport on my last day there, but for the rest of the stay it was great. Super hot, super sunny, but with the monster a/c never more than a few minutes away, and with the pool (I mean pools) at our disposal 24x7, that was actually really pleasant. For entertainment value we used to check out the Sydney Morning Herald most mornings, see that Sydney is cold and grey and rainy, giggle to ourselves and head out for brekkie.
Breakfast in Mexico are really cool, really yumm and really cheap. Just in case you were wondering. Who would have thought that cactus in your omelet actually tastes nice!
Now the best thing about the whole Mexico experience was that I managed to do absolutely nothing. And for once - didn't even feel bad about it! No scuba diving days, no tours to see Mayan ruins, no fishing trips or piñata building classes. Nothing.
It was pretty much get up-have breakfast-do nothing-have a snack-have a nap-have dinner-check out the local night club (mostly dead)-go to bed. And it was awesome.
So yeah - if you ever feel super stressed, or really cold or both, I say Playa del Carmen should fix it in no time.
I had some complaints about the lack of pics in this blog. Only excuses I have is that I hate taking them and I hate uploading them even worse. However, here are some of where we were in Playa, just to prove that it is all true.

Quick Update

Got about 7 minutes before boarding my night flight to Rio. So far on this trip I was lucky not to get into any trouble with US Homeland Security guys. No more.
Been queried over and over and over again about why I keep going all over the shop and what do I mean by "I don't have a job". My shoes were x-rayed to death, my backpack inspected for hours... Oh well... Another 10 hours and I will be having my breakfast caipiriniahs on the beach...

Now for your questions:
1. Am I having fun?
DUH! For me to have any more fun I would have to break international law.

2. Am I still alive? Am I OK?
Decided to take a pic to prove to everyone that yes I'm alive, yes I'm OK and no - I haven't really lost weight.

The Park

I was trying to think of ways to make this post amusing or witty or sarcastic, and decided there is no need. Central Park is by far the best park in the world. Hands- down, no competition. Not only is it huge, and has everything you can possibly ask for in a park (nice shady spaces to read, leafy paths for strolling and hand-holding, meadows for sunbaking and ponds for duck feeding and ice rinks for ice skating. Oh, and a zoo). It is also in the middle of this crazy zoo called Manhattan, and still is completely calm and relaxed. Love it!

Postcards from NY -

Yes, he's naked and yes, he's a cowboy and yes - this is what he does for a living, and no - his mum is not ashamed of it.

Arriving in Mexico

The one thing all guidebooks agree on is the fact that Cancun airport is a zoo. As soon as you walk out the front door a million and a half cab drivers try to tempt you to their cars with promises of cheap fares, margaritas, a night of passion with their younger sister or a combination of the above. Deep inside I was actually kinda looking forward to it... You see - there is this part of me that really loves saying no. You can therefore imagine my surprise when I found Cancun airport to be one of the nicest, newest and most civilized airports I've ever been to. It actually smells new.
One of the super cool things they have in Cancun airport is the way the customs system works. Instead of the customs officer giving you a long hard look and you trying to look as innocent as possible, they devised the button system. All you need to do is press a little button. Once you do, a little light is randomly illuminated in a little window. Green light and you are free to go. If the light is red - you can expect to spend the next couple of hours at the airport explaining why you need so many pairs of shoes, and your sick obsession with ladies' underwear.
My light flashed bright green (woo hoo) so within 15 minutes I was on my way to the piece of Mexican paradise that is Playa del Carmen.

SK and the City

This blog entry is dedicated to SK who was kind enough to share with me some of New York's best kept secrets. Saturday night we went out to discover New York's other face - more specifically, a bar hop of the crappiest bars south of 23rd Street. And like everything else, when it comes to crappy bars, New York can deliver the goods like nowhere else.
I don't really remember the names of most of these places, not even sure they had names, but I can't remember the last time I had so much fun! The drinks were (mostly) good, (mostly) cheap and always about 4 times stronger than their Sydney equivalents (after all these places are not meant for the sober crowd) so i didn't really see a reason to complain. Add to that the fact that without fail we were the best looking people in the place (and probably the only ones without a criminal conviction and/or a spouse's body in the freezer) and I think you're getting the picture.
So yeah - good on ya dude! New York will never look the same. Keep checking your mail!!!
Oh and also kudos for the introduction to Chelsea Handler and Manhattan's biggest pet store... Who would have thought rats can actually be kinda cute.
Note to the Heart Foundation: yes, you can frown on SK's dinner all you want. Ronald McDonald says it's swell

Sex, City, and Cosmopolitans with Kerrie

Woke up Saturday morning deciding it's about time I do something noteworthy, rather than just my normal wander-the-streets thing. Thought hard and decided Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island is the way to go. Spent the next hour or so in the maze that is NY Subways during track work season (and I thought Sydney was bad!). Then saw the queues. And the security checks. About 45 million people woke up that morning with Statue of Liberty on their mind...
It took me about 5 seconds to decide in favour of saying Byebye to Ellis Island and Gday to wandering-the-streets again.
Was walking through Chinatown, then decided it's massage time (we already established this trip is all about me, right?) - so had a pretty good one at some faceless shop, only to find a very very wet and rainy Chinatown on my way out. Yes- most of Chinatown's charm is water soluble, once it starts raining, all that's left is just one big, slightly slimy, puddle.
I had lunch with Kerrie on Friday, to find out Saturday was her big getting-a-wedding-dress day! We decided that there is no better way to cerebrate the dress than a matinée screening of Sex&City in the actual city. The theatre was absolutely packed! Still we were lucky enough to get tickets to the 3:00PM show (lucky maybe not the right word. The obsessive compulsive in me actually booked those tickets a day in advance)... Movie was ok - a bit like an extra extra long episode of SATC. What was probably just as entertaining was watching the audience... With a couple of exceptions, it was close to 100% female... Now, I always knew girls behave differently when there are no guys around, but oh man... Loved it! Plus loved seeing the miles-long queue to the girls WC, while I had the entire boys WC to myself! I'm beginning to think there may be something about chick-flicks after all.
The original plan was for me to quickly change after the movie and head for the gym- I got some serious catching up to do. Unfortunately (or fortunately rather) after 3 hours of sitting in a dark space doing nothing, all I really felt like was sitting in a different dark space doing nothing but drinking. After a quick discussion Kerrie (she didn't require too much persuasion) and I decided it's all about Cosmopolitans at a bar on 8th Avenue, which was, as can be expected, pretty awesome.
At about 8:00 Kerrie announced she has to start heading home and I realised I'm minutes away from being late to dinner with SK, so we kissed bye-bye and headed our own separate ways...

Brooklyn- So Close, So Far Away...

Now, if you have been following the blog, you probably know that I was staying in Brooklyn over the first few days of my NY visit. And I guess there is an inevitable “why” that needs to be addressed...
Well, the bottom line is that when I planned my trip I paid little-to-no attention to minor details like public holidays, which resulted in me arriving in NY the day before Memorial Day, in the middle of big-sales, long-weekend. So Brooklyn was all I could really find. Plus I figured that if it was good enough for Heath Ledger, it has to be good enough for me (I have learned since that Heath has actually moved out of Brooklyn, which I can kinda understand). Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong I tell ya!

To make things even worse,I was staying pretty deep in Brooklyn, so instead of being able to cross the bridge straight into Manhattan i had to use the subway, which was somewhat annoying. Plus the place I was staying at, while nice and very Jewish, was not really in Ahuva's and Bob's league.

Brooklyn is enormous. It's the biggest borough in NY... As a matter of fact, if you considered it an independent city (which it used to be) – it would still be the fourth most populous in the US. The thing is, well, I'm not saying it doesn't have a vibe- it does, but that Brooklyn music just didn't bring out the dancer in me.

NY is a bit like a huge bag of mixed m&ms sometimes. Within the same bock you would see almost any imaginable ethnic group plus several unique New Yorkers (that's the politically correct term for people who just do not care). Brooklyn to me felt a bit like someone with a severe obsessive compulsive disorder actually sorted all those m&ms by colour into big piles (yes, Luc, I am talking to you). And since I was living in the middle of the Jewish m&ms pile, well, after a while, it kinda did my head in. And I can say that coz I'm a Jew!

It was, therefore, with genuine relief that I booked a car on Thursday morning to take me to my new Chelsea home, across the river – where the lights are bright and everything is just swell. Car pulls up, I put my stuff in the boot, get in, shut the door, utter a sigh and say in the coolest voice I could master “West 28 Street”. Driver looks back, gives me the once-over, and like a bad joke out of a bad sitcom says “so... you're Jewish?” in a heavy Yiddish accent.

Brooklyn, I tell ya.

Ahuva and Bob

It just occurred to me that I have not mentioned Ahuva and Bob yet. And a mention is the least I owe Ahuva and Bob...

So Ahuva and Bob own this cute Bed and Breakfast just out of Beverly Hills, and they were my lovely, friendly, gracious and super-helpful hosts during my stay in LA. I knew I hit the jackpot when I drove to the front door just before lunch, to be greeted by Ahuva holding a glass of champagne and feeling very, well, jolly. Within minutes my car had the resident parking sticker and i was officially part of the family. By the time I got back from lunch Ahuva dropped a nice bottle of red and a cheese plate in my room, and I knew we will always have a level of understanding that needs no words (having said that, chatting is definitely one of her fortes).

Now seriously, and I am saying this as someone with a serious eye for detail. That place rocks! I couldn't really fault it at all (and I can, and do, fault most things). Everything from the crisp linen to the cute little bowl of m&ms and nuts replenished daily to the fab cooked breakfast – it was all awesome, And Ahuva's garden... let's just say that my thumbs have never felt browner.

I guess you get the general idea... Ahuva and Bob's was awesome.

I'm Back!

Hi blog-buddies.
I have been neglecting my blogging duties for a few days, primarily because i was in NY, and NY is awesome. I am at JFK airport now (as per usual, got here at 7:10am for a 10:35 departure... smooth!) so thought I'd take the time to update the good old blog... I will probably miss a thing or two, but it's all about the effort, right?